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I'm having a hard time with the virtue of charity while at work. This is a trait I really try to foster that I'm not always successful at.
To explain.
This year we had a new teacher come to the grade level. She has a very different personality from the rest of us. While we're fairly laid back, she is incredibly intense. While we're done discussing she wants to beat the horse some more. We generally agree to abide by whatever agreements are made, and she pushes us back trying to get us to change our minds. We understand that sometimes people can't make it to meetings, and when that happens, we have to agree to go along with what the group decides. She insists that if she can't be at a meeting that either a) we have to move it or b) there can't be any decisions made for the team because she's not there to vote. Even if all of the rest of us are in agreement and that is the decision that would have been made regardless.
Last of all, we feel that our team is our family away from home. When we're at school they are the ones that we go to so that we can be encouraged and uplifted. When nasty policies are handed down, our team is where we go to make the best out of it. She does not. Instead of uplifting, she pulls down.
All of this was apparent within just the first three days of before-school-year meetings. But, I decided to rise above it and reach out. I made it a point to drop by her room, to listen when she wanted to talk, too seek out and validate her positions, because I remember that when I joined it was hard to fit in at first.
I THOUGHT we had a connection. I THOUGHT that she was beginning to become a member of our family. However, a meeting last week tossed that into the air and shot it full of buckshot.
We were making decisions about our IB unit. None of us were comfortable with the direction it was going, and it was proposed that we take a step back, and focus on the big picture for a day to give us a new focus. Everyone on the team agreed to this- except her. She then refused to speak for the rest of the meeting, and wouldn't help us. I figured this may be her way of coping, and thought nothing of it. THEN at our next meeting she declared that we "weren't respectful of her opinions." Blanket statement, looking at all of us.
Since then, I haven't been able to look at her without feelings of resentment flowing in. I've been staying away so that I don't utter uncharitable thoughts. In addition, I have managed to not disparage her in front of others. I have mentioned that I'm struggling to be kind, and have received hugs and encouragement that all others are also working on that particular area with this individual.
To top it off today, we had our annual meeting to revisit the norms (rules) of our meetings, to help us be more effective. As normal, she managed to turn it into "Well, people don't respect or listen to others opinions in this grade level" again. So, we bent over backwards to make sure our norms included ways to make sure everyone gets a voice. We've never needed that. We shouldn't need it. Individuals should be prepared to speak out on their opinion, but when a decision is made, they need to back it to the best of their ability and reach out to the rest of us for support as necessary.
She kept going back to the issue of respect, and it was all I could do to keep my voice from saying, "Respect comes in many forms. We have been listening to you, but you don't respect the decisions we make as a group, and actively impede our ability to move forward because you won't let anything rest. If respect is an issue then we need you to work on being flexible and working with us also instead of demanding that it is your way or your feelings are going to be hurt."
To use myself as a foil. I'm not 100% happy with some of the decisions we made re: IB units. BUT when the decision was made I worked heart and soul to make them the best that they can. Then, when we cycle around to review, if my view has been validated, then I will make my suggestion again. If I am proven wrong by time, I'll keep my mouth shut.
So yes. I'm having issues with charity. I love my school family and don't like that there is an individual that I feel is keeping us from having that level of 'togetherness' and is bringing bitterness into the meetings that we've managed to make more positive in spite of the difficulties.
To explain.
This year we had a new teacher come to the grade level. She has a very different personality from the rest of us. While we're fairly laid back, she is incredibly intense. While we're done discussing she wants to beat the horse some more. We generally agree to abide by whatever agreements are made, and she pushes us back trying to get us to change our minds. We understand that sometimes people can't make it to meetings, and when that happens, we have to agree to go along with what the group decides. She insists that if she can't be at a meeting that either a) we have to move it or b) there can't be any decisions made for the team because she's not there to vote. Even if all of the rest of us are in agreement and that is the decision that would have been made regardless.
Last of all, we feel that our team is our family away from home. When we're at school they are the ones that we go to so that we can be encouraged and uplifted. When nasty policies are handed down, our team is where we go to make the best out of it. She does not. Instead of uplifting, she pulls down.
All of this was apparent within just the first three days of before-school-year meetings. But, I decided to rise above it and reach out. I made it a point to drop by her room, to listen when she wanted to talk, too seek out and validate her positions, because I remember that when I joined it was hard to fit in at first.
I THOUGHT we had a connection. I THOUGHT that she was beginning to become a member of our family. However, a meeting last week tossed that into the air and shot it full of buckshot.
We were making decisions about our IB unit. None of us were comfortable with the direction it was going, and it was proposed that we take a step back, and focus on the big picture for a day to give us a new focus. Everyone on the team agreed to this- except her. She then refused to speak for the rest of the meeting, and wouldn't help us. I figured this may be her way of coping, and thought nothing of it. THEN at our next meeting she declared that we "weren't respectful of her opinions." Blanket statement, looking at all of us.
Since then, I haven't been able to look at her without feelings of resentment flowing in. I've been staying away so that I don't utter uncharitable thoughts. In addition, I have managed to not disparage her in front of others. I have mentioned that I'm struggling to be kind, and have received hugs and encouragement that all others are also working on that particular area with this individual.
To top it off today, we had our annual meeting to revisit the norms (rules) of our meetings, to help us be more effective. As normal, she managed to turn it into "Well, people don't respect or listen to others opinions in this grade level" again. So, we bent over backwards to make sure our norms included ways to make sure everyone gets a voice. We've never needed that. We shouldn't need it. Individuals should be prepared to speak out on their opinion, but when a decision is made, they need to back it to the best of their ability and reach out to the rest of us for support as necessary.
She kept going back to the issue of respect, and it was all I could do to keep my voice from saying, "Respect comes in many forms. We have been listening to you, but you don't respect the decisions we make as a group, and actively impede our ability to move forward because you won't let anything rest. If respect is an issue then we need you to work on being flexible and working with us also instead of demanding that it is your way or your feelings are going to be hurt."
To use myself as a foil. I'm not 100% happy with some of the decisions we made re: IB units. BUT when the decision was made I worked heart and soul to make them the best that they can. Then, when we cycle around to review, if my view has been validated, then I will make my suggestion again. If I am proven wrong by time, I'll keep my mouth shut.
So yes. I'm having issues with charity. I love my school family and don't like that there is an individual that I feel is keeping us from having that level of 'togetherness' and is bringing bitterness into the meetings that we've managed to make more positive in spite of the difficulties.
