Adventures in Living

Yes. I am going to make it to the wedding. Yes, I am going to be able to survive said wedding. No, I am not going to go crazy.

Pray for me please- I'm alright when I don't think about things, but I know that putting it off isn't going to help any. Sometimes all I'm doing is controling the anxiety attacks and trying to prevent them but I know that they're really close at hand. People keep telling me to 'just not worry' about it, but I am physically unable to do that. Maybe not physically. Mentally might be a better word for it. What I /can/ do though, which does help, is to plan and try to find a way to make everything work.

*deep breath*

I think I've entered the dreaming-nightmares-every-night part of the wedding. Saturday night's dreams were all about Mom, Sundays (last night) were all about my dress. For some reason Jess/Mom (one of them) had to take my dress to California and on the way back stopped to visit a friend in Nevada. Turns out their daughter is getting married THIS Saturday so they were comparing dresses. Unfortunately, my dress got left there and hers came to me. We didn't find out till just before mine (what did that poor girl do for her wedding?). The only reason we found out was because the bodice was way too loose (showing some serious breast skin on me.) and then I went "DUDE! NOT My DRESS!" (Kinda. Why didn't I figure it out upon first seeing it?) So we were frantically trying to find another dress for me to wear and in the end settled on this only mildly horrible sheathe dress made up of lots of layers, spaghetti strap and some jeweled parts. Not nearly as pretty as mine. (Though the real question is- why did I have five wedding-dress like dresses in my closet?)

Stupid dreams. At least I woke up after that and started to have a dream about digimon like creatures and peoples that had to find them before they got caught and killed in this castle thing! 25 eggs hidden, they thought they were on a mission to destroy them (by order of the King/Queen) but then they found ones that wouldn't break and it seemed like they ought to pick them up! So they did. And just as the last had found their egg.... The queen sentences them to die! (King gets mad after the fact btw - he wanted to order the death!) But in pure Snow White style the person lets the nice kids go because one of them is the daughter of the King (aka, Princess!). And then... My roommate came home from work (she works early morning) and I decided I ought to get up.

Alright. I've reached the next snag in wedding planning bliss. The wedding is now 48 days away. I have my dress, two weeks I'll take it to mom so she can hem it and my slip. Have the veil. What I need now is to figure out what the heck to do with my hair!!

I know that I need to put it up. Mom and I were fussing with it a little when we got the dress and we both agreed it needed to be up. I almost want just a simple bun at the top of my head, but I think that might look funky with my bangs. I don't want to brush them back, because then my forehead looks big and severe. So I need to find an updo that'll go well with my shoulder-length hair and side swoop bangs. Anyone have any suggestions?

It's so crazy. I've been in Houston sans the most important man in my life, and now I'm in Utah practically attached at the hip to him. Now that I'm back I'm not sure at all how I managed to get along without having him with me for the last few months. Let me back up....


My student teaching ended on Thursday, April 15. Zenobia, Todd, Ms. Barrera, Ms. Willis and Mrs. Garrero all conspired to throw me a party. They bought a big cake (As soon as possible I'll post pictures!!) had the kids make cards etc. I cried... basically all through it. Best gift- A treasure box. Large wooden box caved as a treasure chest. As a teacher, I feel it important to note that this is AWESOME and I could do a million things with it!! Well, the day ended with lots of kids crying and asking if I could stay and when would I be back. Said good bye to them, packed up, helped a mother a bit, and then had to say goodbye to Zenobia. I never thought I'd become friends with my mentor teacher, but I really did. She is very sweet and helped me so much.

Upon getting out I cried my way to Drivers Auto where they fixed the belt on my car and rotated my tires. They were so sweet, they rotated my tires for free. Yeah, it was only a savings of $20, but... As I have no job... that's pretty nice. Alright. Got the car fixed, read through all of my things and headed home. Rosemary was with her grandchildren that night so I was able to pack for hours with music and talking to Taylor and frequent breaks.


Get up the next morning. Taylor didn't fly into Dallas until 1:20 so I headed out a bit later. Dallas Airport is weird, but I kinda like how organized their parking system was. You got a ticket as you entered and then when you left you gave them your ticked and REGARDLESS of where you parked you payed the amount the time you spent there demanded.

Waiting for Taylor was torture, but seeing him was worth it. He hates flying so it was a huge relief to him too. I almost didn't want to let go of him to start walking to pick up his bag and get to the car.

I figure if we can stand each other after so many hours in a car we're in good standing for the future. We drove from Dallas to Wichita Kansas. Did you know that I-35 through that area (Kansas Border and Wichita) is a toll road? Who knew?! Almost got lost in OK City because of misleading signs. One of my pet peeves is backseat drivers, esp if I follow their instructions and they're wrong!! Anyway, we got back on track and as soon as we did that I said sorry for getting annoyed at him. It's not like he's ever been to Oklahoma City before either.

Anyway, stayed over in Wichita, then drove all the way to Gypsum the next day. My car was acting sluggish with all the weight so he didn't learn to drive. Meaning, I drove the whole way. Long, long, long drive. Though (don't tell anyone!) I really liked some of the new Mountain Dews that are out. Disturbia was very tasty- kinda like a limeaid. Yum.

Taylor came to church with me on Sunday and it was SO much fun to introduce him around. Everyone is super excited about me getting married. It was almost like being newly engaged again! Mom and Taylor and I talked wedding stuff, got some things figured out ladida...

Had eye/dentist appointments. Got new lenses in my glasses. Should have sprang the extra $60 for the better lenses but I'll live. Dentist said I've three small spots that are alright, but should be looked at. As I've no insurance as of two days from now I'm not worrying about them.

Drove back to UT. Stopped along the way to have Taylor meet Joshua in Junction. Then we headed out here. I almost stopped in Price but decided I just wanted to GET there. So nice to drive and hold Taylor's hand. I've missed that a lot. Price Canyon was stupid and under construction and confusing.

Taylor's actually at work right now. I just moved so I could listen to his broadcast. The next one I'm going to go hear in studio. That'll be fun. He's letting me use his laptop durring the interum so I don't get bored. <3 Mostly I just slept the last 2-3 hours outside on the grass! Didn't do anything for my looks, but it felt so good!!!

My registration on the car ends at the end of this month, so I'm going to go down to Phoenix on the 29th so I can register my car and then get back up here. I don't like the idea of leaving Taylor again, even for those three days, but you do what you can. I cannot be driving around with expired plates and it makes NO sense to get them up here in UT when in two months I'm going to be in AZ.

Alright, I've spent enough time on this. Ansible won't let me log in, so I'm going to log off. Tay's going to have to plug in his computer tonight when he uses it. oops. His battery lasts a lot longer than mine though!!

Man... Bishop VanAusdel just got released and they're getting a new bishop. This means that I don't know the bishop I'll be seeing when I get back. I'm... really... really..really... really upset. Sometimes I think the Lord has more confidence in my ability to cope with things then I actually do.

I'm actually really upset right now...

Can't SOMETHING about this engagement be easy? Please?

I'm not alright with this. I'm really not alright with this.

So, today I was able to announce my engagement to all my friends and the diffrence between my Mormon friends and associates and my Non-Mormon friends and associates is CLEAR. My Mormon friends hear that we're going to be engaged for six months and ask, "Are you sure you want to wait that long?" and then I have to explain about Houston and my mother's sanity when it comes to the dress. My non-Mormon friends express concern that we're doing this way too fast. It makes me laugh more than a little bit.

I've told this story a million times, and it seems like I'll never forget it, but I am going to write down my engagement story just in case. This seemed like a good place.

( Engagement Story )

So yeah. I'm the happiest person in the world right now (Even though it is snowing right now). Yesterday I got to tell everyone at church, and today I got to tell everyone in my Cohort. My mother and father called my respective extended family. (Which was nice, it would've been exhausting to call all of them myself!)

Eep. I walked through a bridal dress store today 'n it scared the crap out of me. Just... such a daunting task! How can I ever find a dress that fits what I want? All of them look so big... and.... floofy. I'm not a very big and floofy person.

Eep!

Also, in unrelated news, my CPSE class needs to die a horrible terrible death. This final project was suppose to be nothing big, but it's turned into something HUGE. We never discussed the CRIME processes in class, so I'm fumbling with what to do with it.

Dear Journal,

I know it has been a long time since my last update, so I thought I would spend some time writing down what has happened recently.

( In which I detail the last month of my personal life )