junipersky: (Default)
Four and half years ago (give or take a few months) I sat at my desk late at night and wrote down my five year plan.

1. Have a steady job.
2. Buy a house
3. Have $10,000 in the bank.
4. First Child.

When Taylor lost his job two years ago I thought for sure 2 and 3 weren't going to happen. But we have been very blessed in the years since.

I never imagined that the fourth would be the hardest to do or that I would be so close to the end of the five years and not have kids at all.

Latter-day Saints have a very special blessing that we are given that outlines specific blessings and gives guidance in our lives based on our own righteousness. Mine has a line that says "children will come into your home." I always assumed that meant that we would have babies. But now I am nor so sure.

This year I have two kids who are in a shelter. One because he was abused by his foster family, and the other because she was removed from her parents. Maybe that line doesn't mean I'll have kids of my own, but that I'll be able to give a home to others. I don't know. It is something Taylor and I need to pay about.

February 2015

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