junipersky (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
junipersky) wrote2009-11-27 12:41 am
junipersky) wrote2009-11-27 12:41 am
(no subject)
Dear Journal,
I know it has been a long time since my last update, so I thought I would spend some time writing down what has happened recently.
This semester started out really rough. It is my last semester before my student teaching and Satan was really laying it on thick. My reaction to hitting a deer with my car came about a week after the accident. I was stressed to the point of panic attacks, having problems eating, and just all around unhappy. Megan and I were on bad footing because of Stephen. I wasn't feeling that anything could ever really go right.
But I had one thing going for me. Before I had left Jessica's house I was able to receive my temple recommend so that I could go receive my endowments. I had that one thing to look forward to. That one thing kept me going when I thought I was going to fall apart. (The gospel really is amazing. Now that I look back on it the Lord didn't want me to receive my endowments because I was going to Houston, but because I needed them now.)
The first week or so I tried to throw myself into the social scene, but by the third or so week I gave up. That first week I went to a bond fire and invited Taylor to come. We had fun, and even held hands. But... nothing happened so I let it go. I have been the pursuer in relationships and... I didn't want to be it again.
Last semester I was in a dinner group and loved it. This semester I organized the groups. A few of the people from last year signed up and I was excited when Taylor Summers did so. I know he can cook, so I put him in my group. (Of course, I liked him a lot then also.) After the first few weeks I figured that Taylor didn't like me, and so I threw myself into school. It started to get better, and I started to go to the Temple Preparation classes (With Taylor as the teacher.)
Time started to fly. I was able to receive my Endowments and my perspective on life.... changed. I cannot really explain it. Right after I really did not feel any differently. I was the same person as before. I kept going to Temple Prep and Taylor 'n I kept talking. A few weeks later Taylor had to leave after dinner group and walked me back to his apartment. He stopped me and asked if I wanted to go out with him that weekend. It caught me off guard, but the date came as a happy surprise. (In fact, I burst into my apartment and practically yelled "He finally asked me out!")
The date was a lot of fun. We went to a corn maze, held hands, well, I had fun. I'm sure I was way too much of a dork, but I was just being myself. We got hot chocolate at Starbucks and then sat on my couch and talked for two hours. After that date I didn't think he would ask me out again. I'm not sure why, as the date /did/ go well.
Thus, when he showed up at my door the next Friday and asked if I wanted to see Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs I was excited! We went and he tried to kiss me at the theater. I denied him there (It was a movie theater for goodness sake!). He mentioned on our first date that he had a sports movie called Miracle (edited for movie correctness because, apparently, Dream On was playing when we kissed.) that I had never seen. We made plans to get together the next night (Saturday). That night I dreamed about kissing him, which is strange, I don't usually dream about kissing people. I went over to his apartment and we watched the movie. I kissed him, and then he kissed me back.
I'll never cease to be amazed by him, but this was the second time he caught me unprepared. He DTR (detail the relationship) me right there and asked if we were going 'steady'. I gave him my excuses and he derailed them all. I told him that I was only in for a serious relationship. (Basically, I told him I would accept nothing less than marriage at the end of this.)
We've gone from there. My cohort started but he and I spent every second of time together that we were not in class. I rented a laptop so that I could do my work while we were together, (as obviously he cannot be in my bedroom where my desktop is located.) Within the first two or so weeks we were talking seriously about marriage, and on week four (now) we're going to do it. Basically zero to sixty in no time flat, but it feels right.
Last two days he's spent with me at my Uncle's home up in SLC. I know my cousins liked him, and i think my Uncle David did too. Aunt Jessica liked him. I'm so glad he was willing to come with me, David can be hard to get along with, but his is my favorite uncle. We came out basically unscathed. :)
We have known one another for at least a year. I wouldn't trade this for anything. I think my parents might be difficult, but if that is so then... well... I guess we'll just have to deal with it.
He is calling my father on Sunday (Well, that is the plan.) to ask permission. I'm letting him do this because he feels that it is the right thing to do (something about how his mother would have beaten him for doing anything else if she was still around.) I'm praying right now that my father is nice to him and, of course, says yes.
I know it has been a long time since my last update, so I thought I would spend some time writing down what has happened recently.
This semester started out really rough. It is my last semester before my student teaching and Satan was really laying it on thick. My reaction to hitting a deer with my car came about a week after the accident. I was stressed to the point of panic attacks, having problems eating, and just all around unhappy. Megan and I were on bad footing because of Stephen. I wasn't feeling that anything could ever really go right.
But I had one thing going for me. Before I had left Jessica's house I was able to receive my temple recommend so that I could go receive my endowments. I had that one thing to look forward to. That one thing kept me going when I thought I was going to fall apart. (The gospel really is amazing. Now that I look back on it the Lord didn't want me to receive my endowments because I was going to Houston, but because I needed them now.)
The first week or so I tried to throw myself into the social scene, but by the third or so week I gave up. That first week I went to a bond fire and invited Taylor to come. We had fun, and even held hands. But... nothing happened so I let it go. I have been the pursuer in relationships and... I didn't want to be it again.
Last semester I was in a dinner group and loved it. This semester I organized the groups. A few of the people from last year signed up and I was excited when Taylor Summers did so. I know he can cook, so I put him in my group. (Of course, I liked him a lot then also.) After the first few weeks I figured that Taylor didn't like me, and so I threw myself into school. It started to get better, and I started to go to the Temple Preparation classes (With Taylor as the teacher.)
Time started to fly. I was able to receive my Endowments and my perspective on life.... changed. I cannot really explain it. Right after I really did not feel any differently. I was the same person as before. I kept going to Temple Prep and Taylor 'n I kept talking. A few weeks later Taylor had to leave after dinner group and walked me back to his apartment. He stopped me and asked if I wanted to go out with him that weekend. It caught me off guard, but the date came as a happy surprise. (In fact, I burst into my apartment and practically yelled "He finally asked me out!")
The date was a lot of fun. We went to a corn maze, held hands, well, I had fun. I'm sure I was way too much of a dork, but I was just being myself. We got hot chocolate at Starbucks and then sat on my couch and talked for two hours. After that date I didn't think he would ask me out again. I'm not sure why, as the date /did/ go well.
Thus, when he showed up at my door the next Friday and asked if I wanted to see Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs I was excited! We went and he tried to kiss me at the theater. I denied him there (It was a movie theater for goodness sake!). He mentioned on our first date that he had a sports movie called Miracle (edited for movie correctness because, apparently, Dream On was playing when we kissed.) that I had never seen. We made plans to get together the next night (Saturday). That night I dreamed about kissing him, which is strange, I don't usually dream about kissing people. I went over to his apartment and we watched the movie. I kissed him, and then he kissed me back.
I'll never cease to be amazed by him, but this was the second time he caught me unprepared. He DTR (detail the relationship) me right there and asked if we were going 'steady'. I gave him my excuses and he derailed them all. I told him that I was only in for a serious relationship. (Basically, I told him I would accept nothing less than marriage at the end of this.)
We've gone from there. My cohort started but he and I spent every second of time together that we were not in class. I rented a laptop so that I could do my work while we were together, (as obviously he cannot be in my bedroom where my desktop is located.) Within the first two or so weeks we were talking seriously about marriage, and on week four (now) we're going to do it. Basically zero to sixty in no time flat, but it feels right.
Last two days he's spent with me at my Uncle's home up in SLC. I know my cousins liked him, and i think my Uncle David did too. Aunt Jessica liked him. I'm so glad he was willing to come with me, David can be hard to get along with, but his is my favorite uncle. We came out basically unscathed. :)
We have known one another for at least a year. I wouldn't trade this for anything. I think my parents might be difficult, but if that is so then... well... I guess we'll just have to deal with it.
He is calling my father on Sunday (Well, that is the plan.) to ask permission. I'm letting him do this because he feels that it is the right thing to do (something about how his mother would have beaten him for doing anything else if she was still around.) I'm praying right now that my father is nice to him and, of course, says yes.