2010-05-10 00:11![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
junipersky
juniperskyFor the first time I have felt grateful that my engagement is as long as it was. Taylor's roommate just proposed to his girlfriend and they -outwardly at least- are having some struggles. Taylor and I basically had a date in mind, but setting it in stone WAS NOT the big idea on our mind right after he put that ring on my finger. We had a month of a very joyous, "Oh wow, I'm engaged" before we had to start doing things. I think it might have strengthened our relationship quite a bit.
I love Taylor. My family is awesome, but we tend to show quite a bit of our emotion behind closed doors. After Joshua's accident I don't think I cried on anyone's shoulder but perhaps Ky's. After Zoe... only Kyla. With everyone else, even my parents, I just suck it up and hold it in till I can be alone.
Today I got some really bad news about my classroom back in Texas, and learned some of the recent difficulties my mentor teacher is going through. It broke my heart. I was able to hold it together just long enough to text her back before I completly fell apart. And Taylor was there, without me having to say anything, to know that I just needed him to hold me while I cried.
Days like this... I wonder if maybe I shouldn't be a teacher. I take things very hard, especially when heartbreak like this is displayed for me. I'm almost glad that Ms. Howard didn't give me specifics, because I don't know if I would have been able to stop crying. At least right now I don't know 100% what happened, and I can distance myself a little. What am I going to do when I am the teacher responsible? Will I be able to hold myself together enough to be there for the kids? Taylor says that I can, and I hope I can. I know that no matter where I end up teaching, this type of situation is likely to happen again. Or something similar to it is going to happen. I hope I never have to test my resolve... because I don't want to be found wanting.
For now... I love Taylor. I couldn't have gotten this news without him to share it with.
To do:
Put Ms. Howard's name in the temple. She needs all the extra prayer she can get. Can you, dear readers, also pray for her? The biggest thing she needs right now is your prayers for health. The kids need her a lot right now. I only wish I could be there to help her and them.
I love Taylor. My family is awesome, but we tend to show quite a bit of our emotion behind closed doors. After Joshua's accident I don't think I cried on anyone's shoulder but perhaps Ky's. After Zoe... only Kyla. With everyone else, even my parents, I just suck it up and hold it in till I can be alone.
Today I got some really bad news about my classroom back in Texas, and learned some of the recent difficulties my mentor teacher is going through. It broke my heart. I was able to hold it together just long enough to text her back before I completly fell apart. And Taylor was there, without me having to say anything, to know that I just needed him to hold me while I cried.
Days like this... I wonder if maybe I shouldn't be a teacher. I take things very hard, especially when heartbreak like this is displayed for me. I'm almost glad that Ms. Howard didn't give me specifics, because I don't know if I would have been able to stop crying. At least right now I don't know 100% what happened, and I can distance myself a little. What am I going to do when I am the teacher responsible? Will I be able to hold myself together enough to be there for the kids? Taylor says that I can, and I hope I can. I know that no matter where I end up teaching, this type of situation is likely to happen again. Or something similar to it is going to happen. I hope I never have to test my resolve... because I don't want to be found wanting.
For now... I love Taylor. I couldn't have gotten this news without him to share it with.
To do:
Put Ms. Howard's name in the temple. She needs all the extra prayer she can get. Can you, dear readers, also pray for her? The biggest thing she needs right now is your prayers for health. The kids need her a lot right now. I only wish I could be there to help her and them.
